Yesterday we had three appointments at RMH, one to have the drain out, the second to see Dr Oncologist who is back from her adventure in Albania, and the third was the first round of the new chemo drug.

At the first appointment I learned that it’s too early to remove this drain that I have had 40 days and 40 nights (nice Biblical wilderness reference there) there was still too much drainage at this time. I had a meltdown about it right there in the doctor office and Xaver held me while I did a full tilt ugly cry. Dr Surgeon and family is out with covid, so we met with her right hand woman. She explained what happens if it comes out too soon (seroma – which to be fair is far less pain than a drain) and she said she’d remove it if that’s what I wanted. Well, that was exactly what I wanted, but I also want this thing to actually heal up and be done. I have had a seroma or a drain since the initial surgery in February and I am so over it. So when I get to the point where it’s only putting out 10 ml a day (we are very close) then they will take out the drain. She promised they would be able to get me an appointment same day or next day. Even though there is a ring of very unhappy skin around the thing, they say it is not infected, so that’s good. And we were able to pick up a better measurement cup, so we will have to do less guessing. That’s helpful.

The first round of the new targeted chemo drug went fine. It was all the usual prep drugs – which included Benadryl which always makes me super sleepy – followed by the 90 minute infusion followed by 90 minutes of observation so they know I’m not having a reaction. So I had a nap. Then we were on our way.

I have read the reports from the morning, and while I repeatedly mentioned the exhaustion that I am still dealing with left over from chemo, the reports say I am doing great and only mention that exhaustion once. (The reports are very repetitive and so seeing it only once seemed strange since everything is repeated so often.) I don’t know if I’m getting through, or if compared to the people that they see every day I am doing great. Both maybe? I’m lower than my normal, but maybe doing better than average? I don’t know.

Ahead I have an appointment for another visit with radiation oncology, physical therapy to get back range of motion, and blood work coming up in September and October and then a 6 month check up with Dr Surgeon down the road. This new batch of chemo is either 14 rounds or 16, not sure, and those are every 21 days, so that puts us squarely in 2024. I look forward to regaining my strength!

When we got home I got a letter from Anthem saying I had met my out of pocket cap on day 16 of the policy, is this a record? #personalbest

The oncology nurse that did my infusion today goes to the same church with my Dad. We discovered that after a lengthy round of the Mennonite game. Most of the nurses on the oncology unit are Mennonites , which I think explains why they seem to show up with so much caring. It’s really amazing to see women (and one guy) working with such a strong sense of mission and purpose, and I am amazed by them.

Dad told us that he stood up in church and talked about the 1 year anniversary of losing Mom, how I’m doing with cancer treatment, and introduced his lovey girlfriend Pat. It was fun to hear our nurse talk about how funny he was when he did that. Classic Pops, he’s the best.

Some days the world is small.

I am grateful to have such an excellent medical team, and even when I don’t get what I want.

Our friend put together a Go Fund Me page for medical expenses. Here’s the link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/carmen-needs-our-support. It amazes me that it’s only August and I have already passed the $500k mark of medical treatment expenses, and I’m so grateful I don’t have to pay that full amount. Visit the page and see what Marvin put together and feel free to share the link. A gift of any size is so appreciated! You can also find the GoFundMe link on the “ways to help” tab above. What a blessing!

Whatever wilderness season you may be experiencing – health, heart, finances, etc… please know you are not alone. I don’t know if it helps to remember that its all temporary and maybe the days ahead will be better. I do know that you and I are held by Everlasting Arms! I come back to that then when I’m feeling especially alone, and it helps.

Sending so much love your way!

Carmen