Chemo #3 went well. Because I have felt some very mild asthma symptoms in the previous two infusions, they added an additional antihistamine to the regimen. The pharmacy guy stopped by and discussed it with me. He was toying with increasing the dose of the steroid as well, I voted against that. He agreed to leave that off. 🎯

These infusion days are kind of boring. All the people I usually see were there last week instead of this week. I tried to listen to a Thomas Merton audiobook that I had with me but there’s just too much happening in the room to get very far with that. 🐿️🐿️🐿️ #squirrel

I had been on two powerful antibiotics all last week and finished those at 7 pm Sunday evening. Then, Monday a chemo infusion… that seems like lot of medication to throw at a body – especially since I am not one to take pharmaceuticals unless I absolutely have too. I’m pretty tired and can feel some tension in my shoulders and neck, but I am not in pain.

It feel’s important to say that I don’t really think I am “suffering”. My care goal is complete cure, not the extending of my life, and those are two very different things. These days I spend in the chemo chair… it isn’t difficult stuff. The nurses are lovely. There is laugher and jokes (guess who) and sometimes someone will play on the rolly chair and make me laugh (again – guess who). I smell windex when they do the port flush, I feel tired after taking the Benadryl. I feel the Neulasta snap, none of that is particularly difficult.

I’d very happily sit down to dinner with our oncologist, she’s a lovely human and has a killer wit! The nurses are lovely and we goof around. I ask for the gin & tonic chemo, and they say all they have is tequila, will that work? We play the Mennonite game. There’s the quick pain when they access the port, and maybe a bit of itching with the adhesive. These are not difficult days, for which I am grateful. (Your mileage may vary).

Jesus was with us sitting on the rolling chair close by. Later on in the day when my Austrian sat there and began goofing around, I wondered if he was sitting in the lap of Jesus? His smile was big, so maybe the Presence was filtering through. 💕

There is a HUGE improvement in the seroma. It appears to be completely gone from the surface, but I can feel another one deeper in. Dr Oncologist was able to feel it on Monday. I’ll need to ask for a follow up with Dr Surgeon and maybe they can get out the ultrasound and get in there after that deep one. The way they do it during an ultrasound is no big deal and I get to watch it on the screen. #forthewin

At the end of this 21 day cycle, I will be half way through chemo. I’m thinking I might be doing a bit of extra napping this week, and I do love to spend some time in the morning soaking up the warmth of the sunshine from the chair on the back porch, contemplating the many ways God has walked with us through this journey.

I gave a short presentation in class today (Wednesday) via Zoom, and I have a research paper due the following week. There isn’t much more time left in the term for my Seminary class.

Sending love and so grateful for your prayers and support!! Our prayers are being answered. God is not unwilling to heal. Jesus is near.

A few days in I am feeling the anemia (chemo puts you into an anemic state) and I have a bit more nausea, hiccups, and gut issues than usual. The amount of medication that goes in on these infusions is the same, but the effect is cumulative. I take that to mean it might be more challenging before it gets better. It’ll be uncomfortable in places, and it’ll be fine in places.

It’s ok to have complex emotions and to struggle with the many little weird symptoms. Some weird little symptoms are annoying (like hiccups or nausea) other times there is no discomfort of which to speak. We keep moving forward, taking good care of ourselves, and resting when needed.

We face whatever is coming knowing that Jesus is near. Sending you love, strength, and comfort in your own healing journey.

Love you all,

Carmen