Driving an interesting old car has therapeutic qualities. I opened up the throttle to put some space between me and the decisions and frustration. I didn’t quite outrun them, but I did manage to make my way to Seminary in time for chapel. Walking in and soaking up the Presence felt good. Hugging my peeps felt good. I got to see my favorites. What a blessing!

A morning appointment with my shrink was helpful. Lunch with friends in the EMU dining hall felt good. Meeting a retired lawyer who is now teaching a business law basic class was fun. Walking the beautiful EMU campus was fun.

Meeting Pastor Carmen was fun, she’s a pastor at Harrisonburg Mennonite and we had a lovely chat! Seeing artwork my brother has made was fun. He’s an amazing artist.

Self care takes many forms, and this was definitely a luxurious day off. I need to do this kind of thing more often! I am very aware of how much privilege and autonomy I enjoy to even be able to have a day off like this!

I recovered my lost cell phone only to find squillions of missed calls from medical numbers. I want to throw it in the river. I’m pretty sure that’s also a reasonable form of self care, right?

My GP is 5 minutes from my home, she’s got a holistic approach, and takes walk-ins. And the staff is amazing. How cool is that?!

I grabbed my binder full of medical tests and indecision and went to see her. We talked for a while and sorted through details. I came away better understanding where I am as a post-menopausal woman in good health with good nutrition levels (which is due in part to eating pretty clean because of food allergies). My Vit D levels are low, but I’m working at that. I’m not sick. I’m not suffering. We talked about various holistic treatment options, especially ones closer to home and hopefully a little more affordable. We went through the list of things on my treatment plan from Hope4Mexico and talked about them briefly. It was so kind of her to take her time and look over the papers in my binder and just chat about what they mean and how to work at finding a more holistic approach to treatment a bit closer to home.

The doctor I visited works at a clinic that serves people without insurance, and they seem to have a strong sense of mission in the work. They show up and seem to be all in. The tone of the place is very positive and supportive. I love these spots of light in a medical landscape that is so painfully challenging for so many people. When we didn’t have insurance, we went there. And now that I have insurance, I am back there because of the people – even if it’s out of network for my insurance.

She looked at me and said “miracles do happen! Sometimes it’s just simply not there anymore.”

No starfish, just like that.

Amen.

Sending love your way as you navigate your own healing journey. Please take time to take care of you. Self care takes all sorts of forms, it does not have to be expensive (watching birds in the sky this morning was so helpful to me). It matters that you’re intentional about making space to care for yourself.

You matter.